It has been said that God’s Glory fills the earth. I believe that His Glory especially fills Tater Tots. There are few things on God’s green earth that reflect God’s Glory more than this beloved potato snack.
David said that the heavens proclaim God’s Glory and night after night they pour forth speech. For many, Tater Tots proclaim God’s Glory and night after night of eating them pours forth praises to the Creator.
Tots were created in 1953 by two blessed men: F. Nephi Grigg and Golden Grigg (Wikipedia…very reliable). Is it a surprise that the first name of one of the creators of Tater Tots was Golden? Because to me, it’s not. It’s as if his parents knew he was destined to bring forth God’s perfect will and reveal the glorious Tots.
Nephi and Golden created Tots because they didn’t know what to do with all the leftover slivers of cut-up potatoes they had. Isn’t that how it usually works? Doesn’t God choose the leftover slivers of this world to shame the wise? Are not the last, first? It was in God’s good pleasure that from the leftover slivers of potatoes that He should bring forth the heaven-sent Tots.
Originally, Tater Tots were very inexpensive and did not sell well at all. This will go down as one of the great mysteries of humankind: that for a short time in history Tater Tots were not popular. But the story goes that once the prices were raised, people started buying them. And well, that just shows you how dumb we are as a human species. But it’s okay.
Turns out, Americans eat about 70 million pounds of Tater Tots per year. God bless us. God bless America for that statistic. It’s no wonder terrorists want to kill us. We have the world’s largest supply of Tots. It’s all starting to make sense. But the truth is, we shouldn’t go to war. We should send 10% of our Tots overseas to different terrorist organizations as a peace offering. According to my calculations, that would be only 7 million pounds of Tots, which wouldn’t be a big loss for us, but would be an awesome blessing for the Jihadists. My thinking is that you get enough Tots in their stomachs, they might start to question the whole martyrdom/virgins-in-heaven conspiracy. Maybe they end up turning to the living God? Who knows?
Australia has their own version of Tater Tots that they call Potato Gems. And I have to say that I’m very skeptical of them. In fact, when I typed “potato gems” on my laptop it made my hands feel dirty.
Just got back from washing my hands. So, in conclusion, God’s Glory does fill the earth. His Glory is everywhere and we just need eyes to see it, ears to hear it, mouths to taste the Tots, and teeth to chew them. All blessing, honor, power, and glory to the One who sits on the throne, for He has given us Tater Tots and made us glad.